Here is the Carrie Underwood video for this song if you haven’t heard the song before http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydBPm2KRaU
I’d say this song of hers ‘So Small’ is the motto of my life recently. This great video can only be viewed on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQj6RrQbgA so here’s a working video:
I’ve been holding off on mentioning this current aspect of my life, and unless I tell people they have no idea.
I originally wrote this with more information but for now I won’t include many details.
In the past few years I’ve spent some of that time sleeping on a friend’s couch (though I never considered that as being homeless, there Was a roof over my head, even if not my own).
Since last March, aside from 1 month again at my friend’s place, I’ve been living in a shelter.
It’s definitely not an easy thing to go through but I’ve managed, and have taken this time to figure things out in my life.
It’s been a great growth experience, I’ll say that. Giving up practically everything I own (Once again – I have done that too many times in my life) and learning to be ok with it; we’re very much attached to our possessions. Giving up my books was the most painful thing but I did it. I did it.
Living with people who are on the lowest rung of society’s ladder I am learning more about the ‘human condition’. I can identify behaviours more clearly, understand psychology more easily.
Every single day my motivation and happiness gets tested. And every day I get better at becoming immune to outside forces. Happiness is an internal state, an internal choice. There is indeed humour to be found Anywhere, even in the shelter system (believe me I chuckle, or even LOL, regularly at the stuff I see. Silly humans 8-D). I’m in my 2nd shelter, this one being a ‘last stop’ type shelter; it’s the last option before the street for people who get kicked out of other shelters. The people I ‘live’ with are some of the hardest I’ll ever have to deal with in my life. But this experience is coming to an end. I now have figured out and learned what I needed to for myself.
But know this: if I can handle this massive upheaval then so can you!
I am no better than anyone. I am no stronger than anyone. I am just as infallible as anyone. I’ve just decided to not give in. Ever. That’s all it is. A choice. A simple choice.
I have my dark days too, but they do pass. Yours will as well. It’s not by accident that you’ve made it this far in life!
Anyone who walked out of the concentration camps survived, not necessarily because they went in being strong willed but because they Decided to become strong willed. They decided to endure whatever they had to, if it meant survival, so that one day they could walk out. POW’s had to use much more than they were taught in basic military training. They had to reach deep down to find the courage and strength that they needed. But whatever they needed was there. It was right there when they needed it, deep down. We ALL have what we need, deep down, to get through. We just have to reach for it.
You don’t need a gym to get in shape, you don’t need college or university to get an education, and you don’t need to be a superhero to do super things. You just have to make the choice.
“God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” I wish he didn’t believe in me so much. But he does, so I will too.