To Be Thin…

aviary_1411582135558

This image is from the transit ad for a book. We all strive to be ‘thin’. We do this because we’re told it’s fashionable and attractive. 150 years ago being thin meant you were poor, it wasn’t fashionable or attractive. To be heavier meant you could actually afford to eat.

A person is So much more than their body. But thanks to marketing, and society’s belief of what the marketing gods deem to be fashionable and attractive, we value and judge ourselves by our body, by our looks. This doesn’t just affect women, it affects men too. Young men and boys also suffer from body issues.

We need to start a new trend. Instead of striving to be ‘thin’ we need to strive to be happy. Happiness isn’t determined by your clothes, your job, what you drive or even If you drive, or where you live – whether you own your own home or just rent a room, or money. Money WILL NOT BUY YOU HAPPINESS. It won’t. Happiness is a frame of mind. Happiness is completely independent of anything material.

inspirational-quotes-happiness-resides-not-in-possessions

Here’s the cool thing about changing your perspective from ‘I’ll be happy when I lose x pounds’ to ‘I’m happy, and hey, I’m losing weight! Cool!’ EVERYTHING becomes icing on the cake :-D I used to jog a couple of years ago and the interesting thing I noticed was that it quickly stopped feeling like exercise and started to become an outlet – to get rid of stress and have alone time. That release I got every night was reward enough, getting in better shape was just icing on the cake.

inspirational_quote_happiness_attitude

When you are happy you just Glow! You are great to be around! People will want to hire you, to become your friend, to date you and marry you. Happiness will get you further than any ‘game’ or 6-step plan ever will. Happiness is genuine. If you strive to be thin instead of happy all it’s going to get you is….hungry ;-)

happiness-does-not-depend-on-what-you-have-or-who-you-areit-solely-relies-on-what-you-think-inspirational-quote

 

 

Tolerance

As with just about anything on YouTube there are negative comments about this video. Those comments have to do with intolerance. And of course I LOVED this video because, to me, it represented tolerance.

In the North American culture, as with anywhere, the population is exploding. So we have more people. But we also have more sensitive people. Spirituality is coming around and the more spiritual you are the more sensitive you are. The younger generations are just coming into this world more sensitive – THIS IS OUR SAVING GRACE, believe me.

People are being more true to themselves, or trying to, but there are angry, opinionated people who make it hard for them. Who make things hard for all of us. Young people are TORMENTING other young people (bullying leads to suicide on a regular basis). Adults systematically discriminate against other adults all the time, or calling a spade a spade, adults bully other adults. ALL THE TIME. Our police, court systems and morgues are busy with the results of young bullies who have grown up and learned to perfect their craft.

The age of intolerance, say about the last 1000 years, has to end. That is the logic of superstition, of the dark ages, of the horse and buggy, of slavery. We’re better than that. Or at least we should be.

Whenever people are too loud with their opinions I file it under “He doth protest too much”. When people don’t care they are indifferent. When people are loudly letting you know something bothers them it makes me wonder why, why does it bother them so much?

My first thought goes to jealousy. My second thought goes to anger; anger at the world, at themselves, at their life. Angry people will jump on the bandwagon of whatever is the ‘target of the day’: minorities, religion, women, immigrants, etc. You know, just stupid stuff. This same logic includes someone saying “those immigrants are taking our jobs” meanwhile the immigrants are working in jobs that that person had no intention of doing anyway. Their anger just needs a direction, it doesn’t have to be logical.

Ok so where does that leave us? The adage ‘Hurt people hurt people’ applies here. We can’t meet intolerance with intolerance. The buck has to stop with us. I’ve been in some bad relationships (who hasn’t?) and recently I’ve decided any hurt would stop with me; when someone else hurts me I’m not going to hurt them back.

The cycle of hurt, of intolerance, has to stop with us. No matter what comes our way we should only give back love, tolerance and acceptance. With time Anyone will change if treated with kindness and consideration. People are 3 dimensional, complicated beings; just because someone is angry or mean doesn’t mean they’re an ahole, it means they have issues that need to be addressed. Many ‘skinheads’ aren’t true Nazi’s, they were loners who were targeted. They were made to feel like part of a group (probably for the first time in their life), to be accepted, to be cared for. They didn’t join to collectively hate another group, they joined to improve their own life, to feel better, to feel happier. So easily that same person could have gone down another life path if another ‘group’ had paid them the same attention.

The best way to combat intolerance is to be tolerant ourselves and to decide that LOVE will be the defining factor in our lives, in all that we think, say and do.

love86

Determination

Watch this inspiring video again and again. This is the actual accident and recovery of BMX’er Kurt Yaeger in 2006. I find it amazing that so much footage was shot by his friends that Kurt’s entire recovery can be chronicled.

I really like that we see the hard moments, not just the shining moments. This is very real. When we start moving forward we don’t keep moving forward, we do falter and fall back sometimes. But then we move forward again. That is life. Whether we are dealing with something hard or easy, that is still how we do it.

Another great point this video makes is that we need the support of the people around us to get ahead. We can’t do it on our own. “No man is an island.” My grandfather taught me pride, but pride to the extent where I don’t or won’t ask for help when I need it. Don’t be proud. We need to be here for each other. We each have amazing stores of strength and power but it’s those around us who help us bring it out.

Bethany Hamilton’s story Soul Surfer is another great example of someone nearing the top of their sport when tragedy struck. Bethany’s family, community and faith, combined with her own determination,  helped her come back stronger than ever.

Nick-Vujicic surfing with Bethany Hamilton

This is Bethany Hamilton with Nick Vujicic, another heroic person….though, actually, we’re ALL heroic! At various points in our lives people have looked up to us, whether we know it or not. This will basically continue for the rest of our lives :)

We ALL have determination but it needs fuel. When you find something that works – read/listen/watch it again and again! And again! Just as bathing doesn’t last so it’s required daily, so is motivation.

Don’t stop adding fuel to your fire!

BethanyHamilton

 

Charlie Chaplin – Wonderful speech from the movie ‘The Great Dictator’ (1940)

Watch the video:

Or read the words:

I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an emperor, that’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I shall like to help everyone, if possible. Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others’ happiness, not by each others’ misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there’s room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls. Has barricaded the world with hate. Has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world. Millions of despairing men, women and children. Victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed. The bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men who will pass, and dictators die. And the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die liberty will never perish.

Soldiers, don’t give yourself to brutes. Men who despise you and slave you. Who regiment your lives. Tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel. Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle. Use you as cannon-fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men. Machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate, only the unloved hate. The unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers, don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty. In the 17th chapter of St. Luke it is written that “The kingdom of God is within man.” Not one man ‘nor a group of men but in all men. In you, you the people have the power. The power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let us use that power, let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world. That will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things brutes have risen to power. But they lie, they do not fulfill their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill their/that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

The Case for MARS

2014-01-24 15_04_25-Mars One (MarsOneProject) on Twitter

You may have heard of the Mars One project. It’s a privately funded venture that aims to put permanent settlers on Mars starting around 2025. This venture is the result of NASA’s unwillingness to commit to human Mars exploration. Last year the first group of applicants were accepted; 200,000 will be narrowed down to 4 sometime this year or next. Application may be opened once a year but landing parties will only be sent every 2 years, commencing in 2024-2025.

Here is the site if you’re interested in learning more about the program http://www.mars-one.com/

I frequently hear a common fear, that we’ll just pollute Mars like we’ve polluted Earth. Life on Mars will be very extreme for a very long time. We won’t even have the Chance to pollute it, we’ll be too busy just surviving. Also I feel, as a planet, that we’re more spiritually evolved than we were when we landed on the Moon [I consider the point moot, if we did or if we didn’t; we have had the technology to do so for a long time.] Our actions from here on out will be much different than if we’d gone to Mars in the ‘60’s. As a whole humans just think differently now.

I truly feel that humans on Mars will actually benefit Earth; life on Mars will require continual out-of-the-box thinking. Nonstop. NO ONE can possibly conceive of all the issues that will be encountered on the Red Planet. As Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” You have to admit we’re not really taught to think…at all! We memorize, or are taught how and what to think. Solutions for Martian problems will likely lead to solutions for Earthly problems.

If you find yourself thinking of the worst possible scenarios, all the ‘What if’s’…that’s the State of Fear the earth has been living in. And it needs to stop. Now. The majority of what anyone ever worries about doesn’t ever happen! What if’s have stopped all kinds of amazing progress.

For the technological world that we Should be living in compared to how we Are living…it’s like we’re still in the stone age. That’s not acceptable. All technological breakthroughs seem to get nabbed up by the military; for war, for death, for secrecy, for money, for power. ENOUGH!!

We are not war mongerers. We are not killers. We are intelligent creatures. We are curious. We are pioneers. We are kind. We are loving. We are caring. We are creators of life. We are explorers!

2014-01-24 15_04_04-Mars One (MarsOneProject) on Twitter

Exploring and settling on Mars will make us appreciate Earth that much more. We will see the hardships endured by those living on Mars and appreciate every beautiful moment of every day. Our attitude of taking life for granted will cease as we watch – live – the sacrifice those brave souls are making for the future of humankind.

I narrowly missed the deadline for the application last year, I won’t miss the next one. I would be VERY honoured to be chosen to represent Earth in this monumentous endeavor and am fully aware of all that that choice entails. It will NOT be easy, but it will be worth it!

I feel it will save Earth; not by providing humanity with another home but by changing how we think and live on this beautiful pale blue dot.

You ARE enough!

Watch the video before reading further.

That man, to this day, has been unidentified. He was likely killed. He was also an everyday man. There was likely nothing special about him, until he stepped in front of that long line of tanks (it was Quite long!). I meant to write this post last month but I’ve noticed something in the meantime, that I hadn’t noticed 1 1/2 months ago….

It seems to be much easier for us to idolize people we don’t know, to put strangers up on a pedestal. We don’t seem to think too highly of people we’re familiar with – an extension of our view of ourselves  – compared to the accolades we’ll give to those unknown to us. Please ponder this before you trash my theory. As I said I only made this realization recently. I became a certified life coach yet have had no one come forward and let me coach them, despite the good advice I give out when asked – though never followed. Only ONE person who knows me has read this blog. Only one. Because they know me they must figure ‘What could she possibly know? How smart could she possibly be?’. It seems no one is impressed with engineering these days ;-) I get underestimated ALL THE TIME. Perhaps you do too?

Perhaps you underestimate yourself? I can guarantee that’s a given.

the-dalai-lama-4

Everyone knows this man; the 14th Dalai Lama. But until he was discovered at 2 years old he was just little Lhamo Thondup. A simple test determined his fate; to remain Lhamo Thondup or become the next Dalai Lama. If he hadn’t picked the correct toys we would be bowing to another as the Dalai Lama. Does he feel he’s special? No, he describes himself as no different from you or I.

Irena-Sendler-inmemoriam

The face of an angel masquerading as a social worker during WWII in Warsaw, Poland. She saved the lives of over 2500 Jewish children, smuggling them out of the Nazi controlled territory. She did what she felt she had to; she wasn’t looking to be labelled a hero. In fact I believe we only know about her and her heroic acts because of a student’s school report. She’s just one person who realized what power she had at a time when power meant the difference between life and death.

Luckily we don’t live in those harsh conditions, at least not here in North America, but we all have the capabilities and power to still be heroes in our own rights. The history books are full of people who have done Wondrous things. The history books are also NOT full of many wondrous people and their deeds; the work of many courageous individuals go unreported and unknown.

We are ALL capable of so much more than we realize. We can do SO much more than we realize.

If Irena hadn’t been a social worker in Warsaw during WWII would she have been less of a hero? No. She was the person she was. Period. Whether she made it into the history books or not she would have still been great. Tank Man wasn’t planning on pulling his death defying stunt; he was carrying shopping bags for heavens sake!
Why do we expect so little of ourselves, see so little greatness there, yet put others up on a pedestal? Only once they’ve proven their right to be there, of course.

We are ALL enough. We are ALL freaking awesome. We are ALL heroes. We need to stop short-changing ourselves! :-D

LesBrown

And Mother Teresa? She was just a nun. Who cared. A lot! :-D

What is a life coach?

I’m learning that most people don’t even know what a life coach is. To be honest I wasn’t sure myself, even when I enrolled to become certified. I just knew it was a step on the path to becoming what I have always been meant to be and do.

Coaching isn’t regulated yet but those of us who become certified are covering our bases for when certification is required. Though it’s like anything, training doesn’t equal skill. Many uneducated individuals are better equipped at their trade or occupation than college or university graduates (and of course vice versa). Just like with therapy an individual needs to feel they mesh with their coach or else trust can’t be established and results won’t be forthcoming.

The coaching that any one individual will offer will differ based on their area of expertise. For the most part ‘experience’ will be the culmination of life and work experience. There are executive coaches, career coaches, relationship coaches, etc, etc, etc. Personally I want to tackle what I see as a common obstacle to success in all areas: poor self-esteem and confidence. I don’t just want to help people make and reach their goals I want to help show them they can tackle ANYTHING they ever put their mind to. I want to help build a solid foundation. I don’t want to give someone a fish – so that every time they get hungry they have to see me again – I want to teach them to fish. After a bit of time with me I want them to Never need my services again. I’d see that as the ultimate success! :-D Will that make me run out of business? Nah, there are billions of people on this planet.

I will spend the rest of my life researching the quickest and most effective way to permanently increase anyone’s confidence and self-esteem. I want to always leave happiness in my wake. And I want anyone who ever works with me to ‘pay it forward’. This can’t be about money, for this to be truly effective it has to be from the heart. The state of this world HAS TO CHANGE and that can happen simply by each of us making it our intention to leave every individual we encounter happier than before our encounter. That may not sound hard/like much but believe me that Will change the world. Because I care, and love to share knowledge, I admin 2 Facebook pages. One page is my solution to a problem at our college where ALL events were poorly advertised, if at all. The other page is about job search strategies. I run these purely for the enjoyment of sharing knowledge. Actions like that make me unique so I Know I’m going to be a great coach and change-maker, I operate from the heart. As I said motives have to be pure to be effective. I want to spread this uniqueness of mine like wildfire! :-D I want to stop being unique! Will you guys help me? J

Coaches get into this business because we feel the call to serve others. We realize that’s our life’s purpose. Now people may be asking ‘If this is all about serving others, then why not do it for free?’. Firstly no coach can live on no money. We have bills just like the rest of you.  If we Did work at another job we wouldn’t be able to help many people because we wouldn’t have much spare time or energy left. Secondly, and this is the BIG one: people associate value with things that Cost money. Anything that’s given freely is deemed to have little or no value. This is just how our brains work. Personally I’ve given out a lot of great advice. Was any of it followed? NO. As far as I know not a SINGLE thing I’ve said has been followed. Yet that doesn’t stop people from repeatedly asking for more advice…and not taking it. There’s actually a name for that ;-)

So there you have it, money is charged so that our help will be seen as valuable; an exchange of valuable money for valuable coaching.

Coaching skills I’ve personally developed include being able to put things into simple words. I’ve always been very literal and also visual. To truly understand something I need to break it down to its simplest explanation and also visualize it (outside of physics nothing in life needs to be complicated, nothing). That’s another benefit I’ll bring to the table and it’s purely my own mode of operation. Every coach is different because we’re different people and do and see things differently. As I mentioned there’s a therapy component to it, we don’t just dispense advice we tailor fit our assistance to the issue at hand. We have to understand our client or audience to best help.

I also want to change how people see the world. I changed how I see the world and I am So Much Happier for it!! This type of coaching is called Transformational Coaching. I want to help transform people. Though I may go with ‘Happiness Coach’.  J

The secret to all of this is that we, as coaches, don’t actually Do anything! If you see a coach YOU will be doing all the work, or not doing it, it’s purely up to you. We can give you the tools but if you don’t pick them up and use them then the tools are useless. No one can change anyone else. Change has to be an internal decision. Absolutely nothing will cause change except the individual’s decision to change. That is also a part of coaching, to notice when a client isn’t ready to be a client and to say so. Also, if the coach and client aren’t a good fit the coach will also share that, since good progress can’t be made in a bad pairing.

As a client you have all the power, if you’re not ready or are not meshing with the coach just tell them. That will be the end of it. They will respect you because they’re doing this to help people. If they can’t be of help then there’s no point.

Since the mid-90’s, when coaching first started, it’s now becoming quite common. Coaches have every background you can think of from psychiatrists and therapists to office workers to social workers to… The best training we’ve had to become a great coach is living life and personal reflection and growth. Formal education can never provide all that.

You trip, you fall, then you GET RIGHT BACK UP AGAIN!

Author’s note:      I’m not going to spend time editing this as I’ll just chicken out and delete the entire thing. I just wanted to show people that it’s not “where you’ve been but where you’re going” that counts. No one can keep you from being a great and wonderful person, a success, except you.

I mention a bit of myself in my posts but not much, so I thought I’d introduce myself a bit more this time. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth and have yet to find one in there. I’ve had a hard life (as many have) and recently I came to the realization that this was done for a reason. I’ve been made into a strong person so that I could help others. Even when I realized that I still wasn’t sure how, in what capacity was I to help people? I only realized my purpose about a year ago, so it’s been a 39 year journey.

I was born to an alcoholic father and a schizophrenic mother. 15 months later my sister came along. When we were both still babies my father took my sister to BC and I stayed with my mother. Due to her illness I spent as much time in foster homes as with her. When I was 6 my brother was born. Luckily we weren’t separated when placed in foster care. I’m told that while living at home I acted as his mother, feeding him and changing his diapers. At age 8 my mother realized she couldn’t care for small children on her own anymore. For a year my brother and I lived in foster care while the courts decided our fate.

I went to live with my grandparents and my brother was adopted by an aunt and uncle and their 4 children.  It was decided he would adjust better if I treated him as a cousin. As a child of 9 I wasn’t able to sway the mind of that adult. This hurt too much and I started to pull away from my brother, then I stopped seeing him altogether by around age 12 I think. Then at 14 I went back into foster care; my decision fueled by the fantasy of being able to have ‘brothers and sisters’ . The reality was a far cry from that. I got moved into a few different homes, and then ran away from one at 15. I ended up with a couple who I asked to be my foster parents and they agreed. A few years later there was a divorce and I stayed on with my foster father as a roommate. Aside from a one year stint away at university we remained roommates until I turned 30. He retired and moved to Newfoundland and I moved to BC, where my sister and father lived. I returned to Ontario about 2 years later.

An ex-boyfriend taught me that you’re nothing without education and I also felt my calling would be through something professional. In the 18 years following graduating high school I spent 9 of those as a post -secondary student. Let me tell you that is a LOT of time and money ($ spend on school and $ not made through work). I have the student debts to prove it. It’s funny that what Really prepared me for my calling was just living life! All of my experiences and hardships culminated in who and what I am now. I have left a lot of things out of my ‘life story’ because they’re personal and not required to get my point across.

I lived life like a victim for a very long time. I saw things as very black and white and believe me they’re not! I’ve been abused by men and that was attributable to my low self-esteem. Those types of men look for weakness and when they find it they hone in for the kill. “We teach people how to treat us.” I taught men that they could get away with a lot from me. Those days are done but they Had to happen for me to finally smarten up. Life is all about lessons. If you don’t learn your lessons then they just get harder. They did for me. Even when I got better about men I wasn’t self-assured enough so little lessons still happened. It’s a tough love.

Sometimes horrible shit just happens, with you having done nothing to deserve it. At those times the lesson wasn’t for you but for someone else. We’re not always getting lessons, sometimes we’re the ones helping give them…but without our knowledge. I’ve been on both ends of this.

At age 35 I had my son, but with being estranged from my family and my mother having lived in a group home for many years due to her illness, I had no assistance from anyone. And with so many years of school I didn’t have the financial means that most people my age do. Since our future appeared to be a life of welfare until I could manage to get work and make money, I felt the best future I could give my son and myself was to find him a better home. This is always a deeply personal decision and one that stays with us for the rest of our lives. No one has any right to judge a birth parent. Ever. No living person on this planet is perfect. Never has been and never will be.

Judgment needs to be removed from human interactions, it really does.  Judgment means that someone is unhappy with themselves but find it easier to point out someone else’s shortcomings rather than their own. People project; what you see on the outside is what’s going on on the inside. The cranky person is really just cranky with themselves. The rude person is hurting inside. The calm, happy person is also happy and calm inside.  And on and on and on…

My mother passed away shortly after I made my decision about my son, the same day as Michael Jackson actually. Due to the adoption I never let myself grieve the loss of my mother so it had to become a sort of realization for me over time. My grandparents also passed away, my g’mother just before I moved to BC and my g’father just before I returned. These 3 people made up my blood family for a long time so with them gone the estrangement of the rest of my large family feels like just a fact of life for me. People leave, that’s just a fact of life. An interesting thing I noticed with my mother was that our relationship got better after she passed away. That may sound odd but my anger at her for bringing a man into our house who had no business dating a woman with a young daughter, and for not believing me when I told her, and her almost marrying him – which felt like her choosing him over me – that anger was gone. And the guilt of not visiting her as much as she wanted, that guilt was also gone. I only feel love for my mother now.

Because I’ve been on the receiving end of so much hurt I would never want to make another person feel that way. That is why people with harsh backgrounds can be so kind, we know what it feels like to be on the other end of the stick. Empathy is a wonderful thing.

I could even say that I’ve been homeless; I’ve had to sleep on a friend’s living room floor. But to me homeless means LESS a home, yours or someone else’s. If anyone has the sap story that they stayed with a friend hence they were homeless…hogwash! Tell them to take the victim out of the story and turn it into ‘I’m so lucky I had a friend to stay with’ story. Enough said.

It’s all about perspective.

I refuse to see myself as a victim now. There were many things that have happened to me that I had no control over (my entire childhood) but I now see – that lovely hindsight – all the times I gave up control to another. How I allowed things to happen instead of asserting my rights. I can BE Whatever I want, Do Whatever I want, NO ONE can tell me otherwise. NO ONE can put down me or my dreams unless I let them. And I don’t let them!! I just smile and walk away. And vow to PROVE THEM WRONG. I grew up like a seed under piles of dirt, under pressure and in the dark. But now I have burst out into the light and am stronger than ever!! Diamonds were once coal under pressure. I WAS that coal. I am now THAT diamond!
When people meet me they have no clue about any of this, they assume I’m married, or I live at home with my folks; I come across as well-adjusted and to me that is the ultimate success. My life has happened FOR me not TO me.

diamond

I have let a lot of stupid shit happen to me in life. I have DONE a lot of stupid shit. That’s why I’ll make such a great teacher now in the art of self-esteem, confidence and happiness! I can understand, I can sympathize, but I will never be an enabler of victimhood. I am an enabler of GREATNESS!

We are all great! Stop being a victim and be great instead!! :-D

“Let Go and Let God”

7189534175_fb87506d37_z

We’re very much a controlling society. We want to make or force things to happen. We decide certain things should happen and we map out our entire lives accordingly: go to X school, start X career, buy a house, get a dog, get married and have 2.5 children, have 2 vacations a year, then retire and move to X city. Well…

“Life is what happens when you’re making plans.” Life gets treated like a To-Do list and it’s not.

Trying to force things to happen is Exactly what keeps them from happening. How many couples, after years of trying to have a child, give up and start the adoption process. Then BAM, they get pregnant.

We can put work into finding out ‘If I want X career this is what I need to do to get there’ but we don’t necessarily put work into finding out Who We Are. For most of us the life we strive for, the life we planned, Isn’t the life we were meant to live. We don’t realize that because we’re too busy forcing our square-peg life into a round hole. ‘It doesn’t fit now but if I Just Keep Pushing….’.

Stop pushing. Temporarily put aside your plans and aspirations and take stock. Do you actually Enjoy that career or is it all about money? Does your life have balance or is your life all about work or living for other people? Were those aspirations even yours to begin with?

Life is not do-or-die. You CAN make adjustments. And make them often. A dress may look nice until you put it on. You don’t buy it just because it’s a nice dress; if it doesn’t fit it doesn’t fit. If something in your life doesn’t fit get rid of it or change it. Who cares what other’s say? This is your life, not theirs. You have to live it 24/7. Why wouldn’t you want your life to be as enjoyable as possible?

We need to have goals and plans so that we have a direction but we shouldn’t be uncompromising in those goals and plans. If life shows us that something even better or different is in store than what we’d envisioned then who are we to argue? Life knows better.

Regret

Regret1

Have you ever had regret about something? Wished you could do something over? Wished you’d made a different choice? We all have. Well, I’m going to tell you something about that.

Don’t.

We’re all here to learn lessons and to experience things. To grow.

When we make a mistake we’re supposed to learn from it. And then not repeat it. If you’re not learning from your mistakes then, oh boy, do they keep coming! And they get bigger! Like when you don’t pay attention to a child they’ll pull harder on your pant leg, or slap harder on your arm. Life does the Exact Same Thing.
If you feel bad about any mistakes you make, if you’re striving for perfection… well, that just isn’t going to happen. Sorry. No one on this pale blue dot is perfect and never will be. That defeats the purpose of Being here!

tumblr_m6nn1gNxbp1qf83cro1_1280

Life is just a bitch on a broom sometimes and we ask “Why?!”.
If we never experience need then we can never feel gratitude. If we never experience sorrow then we can never feel happy. If we never sacrifice than we can never appreciate. Life, as painful as it may be, needs to have contrast for us to notice, to feel, to experience.

An interesting result of hardship is that people learn to care, they learn empathy. Some of the kindest people have endured the cruelest pasts.

Every single decision we’ve ever made has made us who we are today. If you’re even remotely a decent person then don’t regret a minute of your past! It made you the hunk of awesomeness that you are :-D

e42ddf0758cde68703bcc17371d9f5db