Comparing apples to oranges

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(This post is from my Instagram account @taishka_lefler)

We seem to always be comparing ourselves to someone. We women compare ourselves to other women. Men compare themselves to other men.

But it’s truly comparing apples to oranges. These comparisons are shallow. Purely on the surface. We can never truly compare one person against another.
There’s a Carl Sagan joke: if you want to make an apple pie from scratch, first you have to create the universe.
Someone can only be compared to me if they have lived my life. Every second of it. But no one has. Not one out of 7.5 billion people has lived a life exactly like mine.

Looks are a culmination of DNA from 2 sources. But those 2 sources are a culmination of DNA from thousands of ancestors. What is the point in comparing looks unless we’re willing to compare ancestors? Just as skin colour is a direct correlation to sun exposure our ancestors experienced, features are a direct correlation to the elements.

We compare strength knowing nothing of the tools provided, or lacking, in that person’s upbringing or in their life.
We judge financial wealth, assuming others care about money the same way that we do.
We judge the looks of someone’s partner, assuming that person looks for the same things we do, knowing nothing of the character, sense of humour or compassion of that partner that drew the person in in the first place.
We compare clothes, accessories, cars…
Brand name clothes are still just clothes. A Gucci handbag is still just a handbag. A Lamborghini is still just a car. And money is merely a tool, only one of many that can usually get the job done.

You are not your things & neither am I. We are all so much more.
We bring so much to the table. We shouldn’t short change ourselves. We shouldn’t make baseless comparisons.
We can really only compare ourselves to… ourselves.

 

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What will people think??

We constantly compare ourselves to others. We compare weight, body type/shape, clothes, jobs/careers, cars, partners or spouses….and on and on and on. We compare Everything! We’re not taught to be content with ourselves. We think someone else is ahead of us in some aspect of life because of something they have that we don’t.

Being a fairly happy-go-lucky person I’ve mostly stopped worrying what others think. They have their own life, I have mine. And mine is Much more fun so I’m not going to hold back because someone might judge something about me.

These 2 things, worrying what others think and also constantly comparing ourselves to them, puts us in a prison, a cage. How can you just be happy and live life and when you feel strangers need to approve of you and everything you do?

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Here’s…someone. She’s going to represent every woman we women compare ourselves to. She’s also going to represent the person we’re worrying ‘what will people think??’

What do you know about her?  She’s blonde…right now (might be a dye job). And that’s she’s dressed nicely. Is she dressed for work? Does she like to dress up for herself? Did we catch her just after a photo shoot where they let her keep the clothes?

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Men, here’s a random man to represent who you see as your bar, as your competition. You try to match him in all areas of life. You worry what he thinks of you, of your actions, of your life. What do you know about him? He’s dressed in business casual, is white or European and looks serious. That’s it.

From these pictures you can’t tell their height, their likes or dislikes, their sense of humour, their hopes and dreams, whether they prefer Coke or Pepsi, cats or dogs, the country or city life…

We may compare our dwelling and car with someone else in the neighbourhood and feel inferior, not knowing that person has a nicer ride and crib because a deceased relative willed them a lot of money. Or a trust fund came due. Or…any host of revenue sources we aren’t aware of.

Someone at work may always be critical of you, of everyone, making you think they’re a mean person. In reality that person could have just lost their parents, be in a nasty divorce and just found out that they have cancer. And they could be dealing with all of this alone.

You may be comparing your modest lifestyle with someone ‘wealthy’ on your block and not know they are so high in debt that they can barely sleep at night, worrying about it. This person is more concerned with giving a fake impression of wealth than with how they can actually manage to sustain that impression and what it’s doing to them.

You just never know. If you don’t know what’s going on in their life, anything about them in fact, then how could they know anything about you and yours?

Walking down the street, or riding the streetcar/subway/bus, people don’t want to just let loose and dance/sing/etc because…’what will people think??’
People don’t want to make noise making love because ‘what will people think??’ I’d imagine they’d just think ‘I’m jealous’. :p

While listening to a kickin’ song and waiting to cross the street why not just bust a move? Are you worried ‘what will people think??’ Get over it! Let them be jealous, or have snarky thoughts. Let that be their problem, not yours.
While driving seat dance to a good song. Who cares what people think? Belt out to your favourite song! Who cares what people think?

If they’re judging you then they must have a pretty miserable or boring life. Their problem, not yours. You’re too busy having a Wonderful life! Or at least you should be :)

If you want to compare yourself to anyone, to worry ‘what will people think??’ here’s your people:

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Stylish, in great shape and…not real.

If you’re living any aspect of your life, monitoring your behaviours, based on the question ‘what will people think??’ just remember that you know Nothing about those people. And they know Nothing about you. Appearances tell you nothing about a person. Decide to break free from the prison of ‘what will people think??’ and live to be happy! Everyone loses with judgment. Everyone wins with happy!!

If anyone  makes you feel insecure think of this guy….

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He could be sitting on an invisible desk but I’m inclined to think he’s about to do the leprechaun jig :p

Or think of them in their…

Mens+Fashion+2011+summer+Underwear+Diesel