Don’t Watch TV!

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I stopped watching TV when I started taking engineering at school and I wish I’d done so years sooner. There IS some decent programming on television but most of it isn’t.
At least one study has proven that the saying “vegging in front of the boob tube” isn’t just a saying. The typical fanfare brings our brain waves down to a near comatose level.

The most positive effect of not watching TV, and ESPECIALLY the news, is that my empathy and sensitivity levels are much higher now. The violence, negativity and bad news that is commonplace in television desensitizes people. Being desensitized is NOT a good thing!

A fear of not watching the news is ‘I’ll become ignorant.” Hell no you won’t! Unless you grew up under a rock, perhaps with Spongebob’s friend Patrick, and still reside there, there is not one single event, action or attrocity that you haven’t already heard of. History does indeed repeat itself and the human race seems to be a glutton for punishment. We do the same things over and over and over again. If something is big enough I hear about it anyway.

Does knowing of negative, sad events help me At All? No, they just made me feel sad or angry. Does feeling sad or angry help me become a better person? No, it does not. Does it help me treat others better? No, it does not. Does it help me make the world a better place? Only if the event in question is related to a field I’m working in.

The great leades in the motivation field say Exactly the same thing, keep negativity away! And that, my friends, includes the news. None of those happy, successful people sit down to the 11 o’clock news at night.

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Success

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I’d like to write not about the North American view of success, usually rooted in money, but rather in what I perceive to be True success – within ourselves.

Even though my blogs will All be motivation-based their immediate relationship to the topic of motivation may seem a little blurred but I feel that as 3-dimensional people our lives aren’t black and white and Many things touch us. Being positive and motivated, and helping others find this in themselves, isn’t independent of life – it IS life. In my last blog about bullying I showed how I feel motivation and positivity will solve the problem. The headlining of the gun control issue after that horrible massacre of young children at Christmas baffled, saddened and frustrated me. The problem is Not gun availability but rather what happened to make that troubled soul do such a horrendous thing in the first place. A country of so many people and many of the rulers and law-makers don’t seem to care about any of them. Prevention works better than cure! We need to invest in People, not corporations! Prohibition of Anything fails – alcohol, drugs, guns.  “Taboo” is a very good movie that Morgan Freeman narrated, with very valid points on this subject.
Ozzy Osbourne said “If people don’t kill, if guns kill, then why do we send people to war? Why don’t we just send the guns?” Well said Ozzy, well said!!

One of the best tools for development and growth is to Not care what others think. It’s a hard habit to break but well worth it! My ‘nomadic’ upbringing has really helped in this regard; I didn’t really Have anyone to try to impress – not family and not anyone at school since I was always the new kid. When you’re not distracted by this you make decisions that are best for You. You don’t spend money you don’t have trying to impress. You don’t judge yourself through someone else’s eyes.

Part of my personal success has been this very long, convoluted journey of entry level jobs and a mish-mash of post-secondary education-dabbling, trying to find my happiness in others’ viewpoint of how to live or what I should be doing. I have Finally seen the light as to the latter part; my life is for Me! Only I will be living it so I may as well make sure I enjoy it.

Last semester I made some decisions that have given me leaps and bounds towards my personal success. My game plan had been to complete the 2nd year of my Automation and Robotics diploma and the 3rd year of my Mechanical Engineering Design diploma by this summer. To do this I was enrolled in 8 engineering-heavy courses. This course load Would have been doable but at the beginning of the semester I was still working 30 hours every weekend and I also decided to volunteer for a couple of ongoing things and for any school function. I also started a school club and created a Facebook page under the club name but it had a very different mandate than the club – it took a Lot of time. It’s all a blur – like the movie Rushmore. I Do remember being constantly sleep deprived and falling asleep at my desk every single night.

Not surprising it all blew up in my face. I never had time to study or do homework, I actually forgot about tests and I didn’t study for my exams (I was putting all of my time into the club and the Facebook page). And you know what? I wouldn’t change last semester for the world!! I learned SO much about myself! I enjoy putting on events. I love volunteering. I love working with children. I love that I fought my shyness and many people now see me as “so outgoing”, “friendly” and “bubbly”. Only a few short months ago I was preparing myself for a career and life that wasn’t going to make me happy. I was going to force my square self into a round hole. Now I’m on a VERY different path. I’m exploring my motivational side, event planning, and volunteering as a literacy tutor (I have always wanted to do this) . I will start a self-esteem and confidence-building website for youth, keep my school club and the Facebook page alive, and create a Facebook page geared towards employment/job searching/networking for college students. I will also start a support group for birth parents. The thought of doing any of this doesn’t seem like work, I’m Very excited and happy about my future. I’ve never felt this way before.

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Life is a journey, not a destination. When you decide to go after an ambition or goal you don’t have to wait for it to be realized to become happy, happiness is Part of the journey! Isn’t that great?? Now that I have finally seen the path for my life I have so much energy, excitement and passion! I am actively participating in the direction of my life and I feel great! Up until this point I was just a leaf floating in the wind, completely at its mercy, going wherever it blew me. Now I’m like a bird, steering and directing myself.

One thing I did right all these years was to not worry too much about the money aspect of my life (materialism) and just work on my own skills and abilities instead. I’ve always been proud of what I now call my success; who I truly am. If you were suddenly beamed elsewhere in the world how hard would it be to get to the point where you are now, with career, home, etc? To me That is success. That is what I have put all of my effort into building. I could lose every single physical thing I own and not have it change who or what I am. Materialism has always been my last priority, I was more concerned with acquiring the skills that could help me get anything I need or want. I don’t ‘hope’ or ‘wish’ that life gets better for me, I Expect it. Hoping and wishing keeps it in the ‘belief’ category – pie in the sky. Leave the pie for dessert :)

Being happy is a great thing! I’m naturally a night person and even though I wouldn’t call myself a morning person I Do now wake up with a smile on my face :) I have pep in my step, I have purpose, drive and ambition! Bob Proctor said that your goals should be so big that they scare you. They do indeed! I have Such massive goals, dreams and expectations. A beautiful thing is that I won’t have to do Any of this alone! No one successfully does anything alone, it doesn’t work that way. None of us lives in a bubble. The help I’ll need along the way will be sent to me, I know this to be true. I don’t hope or wish, I know. Once we see and believe ourselves to be a ‘success’ others will see and believe also.

Bullying

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I decided a few months ago that one of my life purposes was going to be to help in the fight against bullying, or bullycide. I spent half of my life in foster homes, and as a child was always the recipient of bullying. At least in those days it stayed at school since there was no internet, social media or texting. I have been trying to decide how this epidemic can be tackled, since the worst affected are public-school age youth. The answer seems to be in the very place it originates, in the schools.

Ellen DeGeneres stated that the education system needs to teach empathy. I agree wholeheartedly with this.

Providing support for those suffering through bullying seems to be the main platform for this issue. I feel this is putting the cart ahead of the horse. I believe we need to concentrate on tackling the bullying and heading off this problem at the source.

Today’s youth are bombarded with way more advertising and marketing than any other generation and the prime aim of marketing seems to be to make people feel they have some shortcoming that only so-and-so’s product can solve. The numbers of preteens, both male and female, concerned and unhappy with their physical appearance is both shocking and very sad. Even before they hit high school many young people have eating disorders. For my generation the death of Karen Carpenter was the shocking result of once being called fat by a heartless music reviewer. She took it to heart and this led to an eating disorder that eroded her health which eventually killed her. How many of these young people have an early death ahead of them just because of Advertising?? Or because they didn’t have effective role models or mentors who believed in them and built up their self esteem? Some designers are using real size models in their fashion shows. Some advertisers are using realistic models in their print ads and magazines. This is an absolutely Wonderful proactive action. And since the music industry has become so much about looks musicians are taking it upon themselves to be in the best shape of their lives. This can also be an inspiration for young listeners, since physical activity makes you feel good, not just look good. Wii bringing physical activity to video games was a great move. There are even a children’s show where physical activity is part of the show; the kids moving around is supposed to keep the main character energized.

The Psychology of It All

Psychology has proven that a certain percent of people repeat what they know; whatever unhealthy abuse they grew up with/currently experience at home. A certain percent of young people who bully are receiving some kind of abuse or neglect at home. Any child who bullies or acts out is telling you something; either there’s an issue at home or an issue with the individual. Schools are Such an important place and teaching is Such an important job; in my view every individual who works in such a place has taken on a Huge responsibility to help direct and protect our most important resource; the future. The reality is that some parents just can’t or aren’t able to do the job of parenting at home and this falls to our teachers as well.

I’d like to counter Ellen DeGeneres’s empathy in schools idea with self-esteem and confidence-building. This would help both the bully and the bully-ee. The person acting out could be too afraid to tell a teacher about their own issues, or just doesn’t know how to ask for help and is taking their anger out on an easy target. I TRULY believe that integrating self-esteem and confidence-building into education would have a HUGE impact on eradicating bullying. I’m still figuring out what format would be most effective and least contested by current-day school boards. School visits to talk about confidence and self-esteem seem the easiest option at this point. The only drawback is that positive vibes die out quickly if not reinforced. I will also shortly also act on my idea from years ago to make a website geared towards youth to help instill self-esteem and confidence in them.

Since youth aren’t the only ones with self-esteem and confidence issues hopefully this is the start of a whole new movement, a whole new era,  where we start putting our fellow humans ahead of materialism, self-indulgence and appeasing our egos. Since reaching adults is much harder than reaching children, hopefully creating change in our youth will create change in adults; trickle-up theory?

My Anti-Motivational Rant

While looking for a picture for this post I saw some Very gruesome images: nooses, bruised, battered and bloodied faces, punches about to be thrown and kicks about to be disbursed. While writing this I was ignoring just how violent young people can be. Whenever an adult would consider an action to be assault I strongly feel that we need to treat young with the same seriousness. Even into late teens some are causing emergency room visits or even hospitalization without being punished in any way whatsoever. If they’re allowed to drive at 16, then why are they not considered to be responsible for their actions when assaulting another? I’m of the generation where belts and wooden spoons weren’t just to hold up pants or kitchen utensils. We survived those punishments. Society is now so freaking lax with any punishment for deserving behaviour, that a certain number of our young people have little or no respect for authority, their elders, themselves, or each other. The only solution I see for aggressive physical behaviour is legal action and self-esteem and empathy work while incarcerated (a group home or whatever setting the judge chooses). And I think ALL bullying incidents should result in required community service. Any infraction by anyone should result in community service. Oh, just thought of a great slogan: “If you’re going to act like an ass, you’re going to get the work of an ass.” (as in donkey) Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? ;)

Rant Done. Thank You

If you want to be part of this movement there are many ways, basically all under volunteering; Big Sisters/Big Brothers, volunteer at your local recreation center, volunteer for a homework tutor organization or the library – in Toronto many branches have homework tutor programs. Every city should have it’s own volunteer website. Toronto’s big ones are (http://www.volunteertoronto.ca) and (https://charityvillage.com/directories/volunteers/find-volunteer-listings.aspx) Charity Village is Canada wide. You’ll be surprised at all the places that use volunteers and have programs you aren’t aware of. YMCA has a lot going on that I didn’t know about until I perused their site one day. There’s a lot you can do in your own back yard as well. Perhaps there’s a single mother in your area or building who could really use some babysitting help. Or maybe just play basketball with the local kids, any exposure to another role model is a great thing for young people. I watched the movie ‘Unconditional’ about Papa Joe (Joe Bradford) who lives in Nashville. He has been a father figure to many fatherless children in his neighbourhood and also distributes food to needy families. We all have the ability to be a Papa Joe.

I wholeheartedly support volunteering. When young people partake in volunteering it helps them see a bigger picture of the world, gives them responsibility and confidence and also lets them see that some people aren’t as well off as they are. This pretty well goes for adults too. And there is no feeling comparable to helping others and giving freely of your own time. The appreciation you get back is very rewarding. To me this is a requirement to a balanced life. Keep yourself happy and ‘the small stuff’ will just disappear :)

My spiritual growth journey

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I have come to the realization that we are here to serve others. We are here to look after each other and put others first whenever possible (you still have to maintain a healthy balance in life and live a decent life). I genuinely care about people and that comes through whenever I deal with anyone (aside from when I’m being stupid and sweating the small stuff) and this causes people to care in return and to help me in my time of need.

You have to give to receive. I have seen and heard about this in action. The Higher Power only wants to help us. When we show we’re deserving we get that help. Being deserving means we’re learning our lessons in life. Being a Scrooge means we’re Not learning our lessons so life heaps on another helping of pain and grief to teach us. There truly is a method to the madness; we can see this if we open our eyes.

We show people how to treat us. This sums up all my bad experiences in the past. It’s very hard to admit but I have let people treat me a certain way. When I didn’t like how things were going I didn’t walk away. I would continually give that person yet another chance to change, which never happened. One ex treated his next girlfriend quite nicely, but when he had interactions with me he went back to his old ways. She showed him she’d only allow good treatment whereas I had showed him he could be a jerk with me with no repercussions. There’s a spoken word poet I like, Suli Breaks. (He did this great video ‘So you want a degree’. You should check it out, it’s really good.) I’ve linked his ‘He’s not’ video. It gets golden at around 3 minutes. Steve Harvey says basically the same thing. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJzBtL2SKZg)

Show gratitude. Here in North America we’re taught greed and want. Chasing the next new toy or keeping up with the Jones’ is a never ending vicious cycle that will never bring happiness. We have to be able to stop and realize how great of a life we have. I try to mostly ignore marketing; that new shampoo does Not do what they say it does. That new beauty cream will not necessarily even be nice to my skin. The best beauty product is Confidence! The best thing you can put on your face is a Smile :) The best way to age well does not come in a bottle but by Stop Worrying and be able to ‘stop and smell the roses’, hear the birds, etc. At any moment you should be able to stop, look around you and see beauty and wonder. To the old angry me this was like a hidden world that I Just Didn’t See. It’s so sad that so many people still wear these blinders. When you have a calmness about you your worries take care of themselves. Recently I could have ended up homeless due to a school loan issue but I just accepted the situation and thought of ways to have my stuff taken care of and knew I’d likely be able to get a shelter bed somewhere. My calmness likely directly worked for me; my landlord allowed me to pay rent late. It’s only now that I can look back on my life and see all the blessings I’ve had along the way. I experienced the unconditional love of maternal grandparents and had a mother who, for the most part, loved me. They’ve all left me years ago but to have Had that love makes me luckier than many. I’ve had no great life by any stretch of the imagination but it has definitely been colourful/interesting and it has ultimately led me to be the person I am today. The trick is to not see the bad things but rather the good. Things are done For you, not To you. I am a much stronger person today for what I’ve gone through. I am also very gentle and kind, this seems to also be a result of ‘colourful’ lives (sandpaper that polishes us).

Be grateful that you have a job that gives you money to pay the bills, be grateful for the food in your kitchen, be grateful for your 5 senses, be grateful for your health. You don’t have to think of people in 3rd world countries who don’t have these, people in your own city don’t have these. Also be grateful for your Ability to be grateful. Again, the people around you don’t all have this ability. You can create your own happiness. That is a wonderful thing :)

Smile! An inner happiness and peace will literally make you shine :) We give off vibes and a happy vibe will attract happy people and situations to you. Be kind to everyone you meet. Never carry over anger from any past hurt, if 2 people in a row hurt you that doesn’t mean the 3rd one will. Have a clean slate for every person you encounter. Allow them to write on that slate, don’t assume for them what they would write. We all have bad or off days. It could be that you’re encountering a great person on an ‘off’ day. Mean people are usually just someone who’s hurting or having a really bad time, try to not add to their woes by being mean in return, or to your own. The smallest gestures have had profound impacts; have made people change their mind against committing suicide.

I often joke about using my powers for good vs evil. (I DO have one super power; whenever in line I tend to be invisible – both to cashiers and the people behind me in line. I’ve also had bus drivers close the door on me Three times!. I just KNOW the one time I try to make this super power work for me in a bank it will fail ;) ) We actually Do have a lot of power, each and every one of us. The hardest part about life is thinking outside of the box that we’ve grown up to believe in. The box doesn’t actually exist. There’s an experiment where fruit flies are put in a small bottle with the lid on. They try for 20 minutes to get out, then realize how futile their efforts are and stop. When the lid is taken off they actually starve to death in this little bottle because they still believe that they’re trapped. It’s easier to deal with and manage billions of people if they believe their bottle has an air tight lid. Guess what? There is no lid! It’s your choice to live life knowing all the wonders of existence are available to you or to live in a little bottle. Truly your choice. Seeing is not believing. Case in point: Is electricity real? Yes. Can you see it? No. Game – set – match.

Keeping your sanity while looking for love

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Since I tend to write about something I’m dealing with or something that is touching my life I’m going to make today’s post about dating. I am currently actively on-line dating since my hope of meeting the right person in an everyday situation hasn’t happened this past year. On-line dating is probably the most daunting of any type of dating since there is No One to endorse these strangers to you, except their own written words. Dating can be quite draining, have a negative effect if the interaction wasn’t positive and make you just want to give up and go on being single and happy. So this is how I’m going to go about dealing with my urge for having someone in my life.

Women tend to want to feel safe and secure before meeting the individual and may want to talk via messaging or text a little too much before meeting. I used to do this myself. I finally realized that No amount of messaging could make up for actually meeting the person. You can only make a good judgement about the person in person. Words really mean nothing, its body language and actions that are the tell.

Another important aspect of dating, and in life, is listening to your intuition. That ‘intuition’ is the voice of… whatever higher intelligence you believe in: God, angels, the Universe, your soul. Proof that our intuition Should be listened to: think of the times you ignored that voice and regretted. Pretty well Every single time (for me anyway)! I’m just a mere mortal, intuition is bigger than me. It knows better than me (you could even call it your subconscious mind picking up all the red flags your conscious mind is missing).

Get in the habit of being completely honest about All aspects of what you’re looking for and, hopefully, people will respond in kind. It’s a good habit to get into. Successful business people have the same set of rules and ethics for both their work and personal lives.

Women tend to be too forgiving of men and their treatment towards us, expect more!! You deserve to be treated the way you treat others. Don’t accept any less. If you’re already making excuses in your mind and you’re not even effectively dating the person yet, Run!! We need to care for and about Ourselves as well as others. But when someone isn’t showing respect for you they likely aren’t showing any for themselves either. That’s not healthy. Luckily it gives you a quick snapshot that this person is Not worth your time. You should only look at property as being a fixer-upper, Never a person!

The best rule to Always remember about dating is that if you don’t like the person enough to accept them as they are Right now, can’t see yourself being with them long term as they are Right Now, then it won’t work. People don’t tend to change. I’ve been hearing and reading this for a long time and now know it to be true. One thing about life is that we Never seem to trust any rules or advice until we’ve learned them the hard way; I definitely fall into this group. That’s one of the purposes of life, to learn lessons. The trick is to learn things the 1st time around, not the 10th, otherwise life just starts to suck ;-) This goes with dating, once you’ve learned a lesson Stick with that lesson! Don’t forget what you’ve learned and don’t second guess yourself; that will undermine your confidence. If you just listen to your intuition you will make the right decision every time. Life is just Too Short to be with someone who takes away from that wonderful experience, you only want to invite a great person to join you on that journey. A relationship should be where 2 people complement each other.

Anyone looking for a relationship to make them happy will never find that happiness. Happiness TRULY has to come from within. Believe this to be true!! The same philosophy explains why addictions or habits cannot be successfully kicked unless that person Wants to kick them, and do it for Themself. Any sort of change has to be an internal decision, because it happens internally. The person has to care enough about themself to want to make that improvement. Don’t ever forget this. If you’re in a relationship and something like this comes up or is an issue, only the other person Wanting to make that change will cause the change. You can’t guilt or threaten them into it, that won’t last.

Being happy, truly happy, will help you bounce back from any bad date. When someone is cruel or mean that means that they’re hurting and this is a way for them to ‘share’ that hurt. Misery likes company. Staying mad at someone (replaying the event over and over in your mind, telling your friends about it) won’t do you any good, it just takes away from your happiness. Realize that this person has their own issues to deal with, but don’t let them add those issues to yours. Be kind to them (maybe they don’t have much kindness in their life) but keep moving on. You can and will do better. Spread joy and kindness wherever you go but don’t linger if the recipient won’t return that joy and kindness to you.

Having a good heart helps deflect the effects of hurtful people. You’ll understand their actions better than they will, you will not react to them the way most people would (by being hurtful back) and you can have an impact on their life – they’ll always remember your kindness, whether they admit it or not. Being a good, caring person helps you bounce back as well. You know you didn’t deserve any nastiness from anyone, so if you’re the recipient of any you’ll know it has Nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person.

Not taking things personally can be hard to master but it’s part of being happy – things will only affect you If You Let Them – and is definitely needed in interactions with other people.
Another good lesson to remember is that words have no meaning until you give them a meaning. I’ve had people get offended by my words where there was no offense meant. The offense was taken purely on the receiving end; none was given on the giving end. I find that people who get offended tend to Look for offense, I think this would fall under victim mentality.

If you want to be happy you Cannot entertain a victim mentality. Ever. Victim mentality gives away power, as if you are under the control of someone or something else. Accepting responsibility for yourself and Every Single Action you make will give you power over your life. You will see how you are responsible for your station in life, both the good and bad aspects of it. There Are times when bad things happen and they had nothing to do with us whatsoever, we didn’t cause them. This is how our actions affect our life and future, how we deal with adversity. That we Are responsible for. When you see how your actions or reactions affect your life then you can make better decisions and judgements. We should remove all reactions from our lives and only perform actions. Reacting puts you back under someone or something else’s control. Every minute of every day of your life you are faced with decisions to make. Take charge of those decisions, make them your own. Act on things, don’t react. Life will Never put you in a corner with only one way out. Never. We just have to start seeing things differently. There is Always a positive way out, or something positive that can come from adversity.

All of these philosophies I’ve mentioned can be used as tools in dating, just as in everyday life. At all times you should feel in complete control and always feel its ok to walk away from anyone or any situation. Always have the first date in a public place and have the usual safety precautions of letting someone know where you’re going and make plans to check in with them at a certain time, or as often as you want/need. Listen to your intuition At All Times. The other person should be open to you doing whatever it takes to feel comfortable. Being pushy is a bad sign. If they’re being pushy and you haven’t even Met them yet…. Don’t Meet Them!! You should feel Completely comfortable before meeting.

In life I’ve taken the stance of not bothering to point out things like lying. If you’ve caught them lying you don’t have to let them know you caught it, they already KNOW they’re lying. For some reason guilty people get really angry when the obvious is brought up, so I save myself that argument and just walk away. Arguing is a waste of energy and a negative act. You should be able to have a discussion with someone, not an argument. Another thing I’ll mention is that I have found braggers to Never be as good at what they bragged about as they said. Never. So don’t do this, just don’t. If you’re good at something you can mention it but don’t exaggerate it. The other person will realize your skill when the time comes, let it be a pleasant surprise :) I knew someone years ago who listed his body type as ‘about average’; he was in good shape. This was his pleasant surprise for his dates. I now do the same. I include pictures so if someone is so description shallow they won’t trust their own eyes… their loss :) This is a self-description the profile user gets to pick so it’s as reliable or unreliable as their own self description.

Trust your intuition and believe in yourself. You know yourself, you don’t know the other person, therefore you should be putting yourself first in any dating situation. Above all go to every date with the intention of having a good time, no matter the outcome, (or at least a good meal?) :) Even if you didn’t find a partner, maybe you found a friend.

Don’t Worry Be Happy!

As I progress along my journey to happiness and peace and see how my life is changing, how I’m changing, I become more and more surprised at how willing people are to just Accept their lot in life. So many people truly believe there’s nothing they can do about it, and that’s sad.

A classmate compared me to a guy when I told him how I was handling all the stress and financial situation of being  a student; I’m chill. I didn’t really like the comment because it took me 38 YEARS to become this chill. And I’m much better for it. You will be too if you try it. Bills are due? They’re still due whether you freak out or not. Money all gone? You’re still broke whether you get upset about it. Instead of wasting precious energy on worry you could put that energy into ideas on how to become unbroke :D There’s always a way, always a solution, if we’re clear headed enough to look for those solutions. Sometimes we have to make our own solution but there IS one.

When we expect life to get better, opportunities will come our way. But we have to be willing to work for them. There’s no free lunch in this world, but there are free appetizers or dessert to help you along the way ;) Some incentive as it were. Don’t just Believe life will get better, Expect it! Demand it! And then be willing to do some old-fashioned hard work to make sure it Does happen.

I’ll give away a secret right now. The one thing that will solve All problems is Love. A dose of Love will cure what ails ya. There is no emotion as strong as love. There is no force more powerful. Learn to integrate love into your life, into your daily routines, and you will be well on your way to happiness and peace. And health as well.

Learning to take complete responsibility for everything you do is also a required part of your daily life. No excuses, no blaming others for anything. Blaming and complaining stop. If you don’t like something figure out a way to change or improve the situation. Blaming and complaining are not allowed on this journey. It sounds hard but once you’ve replaced those bad habits with good ones (you can never get rid of habits, just replace them) they stay.

Happiness

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“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” It’s a cliche but it’s Very true. Just like ‘tomorrow’, if you think happiness is something you’ll finally have when you _________ then it will never come. Happiness is enjoying the here and now. It’s a lifestyle, a new way of seeing the world. I’ve worked on changing my view for about a year now and the difference is Amazing! Life is so much better when you can see the beauty in everything.

The glass is half Empty if that’s how you want to see it but it’s also half Full if that’s how you want to see it. It’s all about perception. It’s like imagining seeing everything through new eyes; what would you see differently? What would you see that you never even noticed before?

Happiness is also a product of taking full responsibility for your life. How great do you want things to be? How far do you want to go in life? Once you take ownership you also start to tear down boundaries because…. they never existed in the first place! Limits and boundaries are taught to us by others and we learn to adopt them. Look at things through fresh eyes; if it was your good friend listing all the reasons he/she couldn’t do something wouldn’t you list the reasons why they Could do that same thing? If you can believe in others then you can believe in yourself. The sky is truly the limit!

Life is beautiful!!

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About a year ago I was introduced to a whole new perspective on life. It falls under the Law of Attraction. Over the years I’d had some exposure to the philosophy but I wasn’t ready to embrace it.

This knowledge has been around for a VERY long time. Some compare it to what’s in the bible. I don’t, though I can’t say the bible doesn’t say basically the same thing. I guess it all comes down to what method works best for you and who’s writing speaks to you. Personally what’s worked best for me has been the writings of Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich), Dale Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People) and Joe Vitale (The Attractor Factor). These men have all written numerous books and they use personal examples of how the philosophy works when applied. These readings are literally changing my life. I still have much to learn, and need to practice the philosophies more, but I’m a MUCH happier person. It’s great to be able to see the positive side to Everything, to know that there is one. To realize that I’m completely responsible for my life and the state that it’s in. To see how everything that’s happened to me has been for my benefit, to help me blossom into the wonderful person I’m becoming (that’s seeing the positive side to every situation). To see how being angry, upset and holding grudges only hurts ME. LOVE is the answer. Train yourself to feel love at all times and happiness and a wonderful life will follow :)  To realize the power that EACH and EVERY one of us possess. Our lives CAN be as great as we want, we just need to learn the tools to make that happen.

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